About
The Weekend Manifesto
Everything you need to know about the Grumpy Weatherman, in nine grumbles.
- 1.I am not a meteorologist. I am a man with a window and a grievance.
- 2.The forecast is a suggestion. The umbrella is a commitment.
- 3.Complain about the potholes, never the people who have to drive over them.
- 4.Hennef Way on a Tuesday is not traffic. It is a lifestyle choice made for you.
- 5.Banbury is not grim. It is simply damp, underfunded, and quietly brilliant.
- 6.If it squeaks, fix it. Don't commission a report about the squeak.
- 7.Tea solves nothing, but it buys you eleven minutes of peace.
- 8.No politics, no sides, no sponsors — just weather and mild fury.
- 9.Laugh at the sky. It has been laughing at us for centuries.
Written on a wet Saturday. Subject to revision if the sun ever shows up.
Free, and staying that way
The Banbury Grumpy Weatherman is free to use, and it will stay free. Not a penny has ever been made from it — the only money it has ever touched was raised for the museum, and that went straight to the museum.
If anything, it costs money to run. It's a hobby: a way of grumbling usefully about the weather, the potholes and the odd bit of local nonsense, and of putting something back into a town that's had quite enough taken out of it.
It will never be run for profit, and it will always be non-partisan. No adverts, no sponsors, no sides — just weather, mild outrage, and a fondness for Banbury.
The title "The Banbury Grumpy Weatherman" is entirely self-proclaimed. No meteorological body, council or newspaper has ever endorsed it, and none should be blamed for it.
In the Banbury Guardian
The column, printed regularly, against the editor's better judgement.
Why an Oxford Headline Harms Banbury High Street More Than Any Idiot on the Street
One plonker, twenty minutes. One headline, three days of empty tills. Do the maths.
1 Sep 2026
No Obstacles in Banbury — Only Hennef Way on a Tuesday
If it squeaks, fix it. Don't write a report about it.
1 Jun 2026
Staycations & Self-Raising Flour: A Grumpy Guide to Going Nowhere
Two weeks off, one week of rain, and a bag of flour that rose better than my spirits.
1 May 2026
£112 Reasons to Stay Grumpy — Why I'm Choosing the Aldi Queue
I read the small print so you don't have to. You're welcome. I'm furious.
13 Apr 2026
Puddles, Trolls and Protecting Our Kids
One of these three gets filled in eventually. It isn't the puddle.
30 Mar 2026
London Has the Money, Bradford Has the Title, Banbury Has the Engine
Guess which one gets mentioned on the national forecast.
26 Mar 2026
The Forecast Is Sunny — So Why Is There an Umbrella?
Because I've lived here longer than the forecast has.
28 Jan 2026
Around Banbury
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Last updated: 2 October 2026
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Last updated: 28 August 2026
Satirical Persona: The Banbury Grumpy Weatherman is a satirical persona. "Richard" is a fictional character. This app is not affiliated with the Met Office, BBC, Banbury Town Council, or any official weather authority.
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